Blast off!

Links :

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...224/index.html

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...944/index.html

I Shower Rhymes Through The Invisible Blood That Sits In Their Dreams
Kids Get Ripped From Privilege Adrift In Their Needs..
I Spit Fire Melt Higher Buyers To Get A Grip In Their Greed..
Drop The Kinda Rhymes Make You Listen To Me..
Chopped From Energy Sources I Rain Forces With Headless Horseman
Stomped With Pleasantry Morbid, I Said Id Bring Fire Crooked Like "i Said I Lean Torches" (Acetylene Torches)
Its All Bin For Bid, Cut Lives Lyrically Cause I'm Heavily Horrid
Rhymes Written On The Withered Skin Of Heavenly Corpses..
I See Me Gleaming On The Aftermath Of Your Straps Eroding
I'm Hip Hop Breathing With A Stack Of Raps Exploding
My Style So Viral All Ya Read On Your Screen Absent Loading..
I'm Coming Back With The Attack That Wont Be Rampant Gloating..
Free My Disease Bio Chemical Viral Breeze Stamping Moldings..
Crack Them In Half And Laugh At Their Standing Knowledge..
Give Them A Few Years To See If They Can Withstand Each Wallop..
Life Ain't A Mic To Be Branding A Fall Out.. Keep On Landing All Out...
Our Your Standing Will Sprawl Out,
Your Handling Is Now The Example Of A Demanding Call Out
Stuck In A Place In Raps With Ritalin Masked Hate,
Quit Fiddling Half Weight Ill Leave Em Withering Back Straight
With Wonder Wailing You Till You Wondering Weather You Act Strange
Keep In Mind I'm A Defender Of Rhymes When You Demonstrate Whispering Rap Games..

your flow was off and it was due by an unbalanced sort rhyme scheme... but it caught back on track with you using good multis. not to bad not too simple but like i said the rhyme scheme you had just.... it seems like raps like this are made for audio only seeing as its not too complex not too simple. If your going to stick to texting verses i would like to see more thought in your rap. more feelings. much more complexity and wordplay punches. You already have the multis going. decent peace. keep at it

oh shucks and one more thing i forgot to mention... no real true meaning or should i say no concept. just like you rhymed to rhymed which isnt bad but isnt all that good too. that is all.

Thx for the input man i appreciate it, i have not done an all text piece in a wile..
Will improve

Dude i thought your flow was sick, it'd be DOPE to hear audio of this give us a hit if you get that shit up but yeah man besides the no concept i didnt really feel much was wrong with this and when you read this shit it just roll's off the tounge real smooth.Like it bro good work