LLL Week 4 Mag: The Champ is Here!

LLL Week 4 Mag: The Champ is Here!

Commissioners Take

WTF @Lay Doubt returning. Good job on the Facebook shout out @$pitacular1 . I’ve done the same to Cashius, Neighbor & Hensley… TBD
WTF @Resin M-I-C finally signing in. I know you had 2 large battles on NC to write for, but so did I fucker, wtf?? Nah glad you’re here. FTC!
WTF @ another no show from Cred. Guy’s dead to me.
WTF @ Krang being sneaky dope. He’s clearly an alias and not a newb. Someone said in their feed they think its Orc. Who knows but I expect more dope showings. Someone get an IP search going.
WTF @ Zelph getting so defensive by being asked not to vote on barcotics battles, when imo there’s some merit behind the request? Who cares man, just vote on other battles, you’re not even battling in the league!
WTF @ the patient that’s going to have to get Anesthesia from Clout in the near future. Imagine lying in the doctors office and some 6’9’’ Viking stands over you & starts putting needles in your arm. SEE YOU THE FUCK LATER
WTF @ the spit & barc beef popping off again in the chat. Apparently barc is 5-0 over Spit I remember reading, would like to see this go down again in the modern day. This beef is good for the league
WTF @Ryno signing out days before he was in line to get a contender ship battle, and our 484738973980573 battle over the last year.
WTF @Josh S. resurrecting the old nobody actually shoots ppl here argument. It’s a god damn text battle man bang bang strap up

Week 3 Battle Reviews - by Blue Bayou

Dominate vs. Exalted

Dope battle here, some really great wordplay, personals, and concepts throughout both verses. On Dom’s end, aside from the Exercise wp I’ve seen done before, everything was pretty dope to me & the setups throughout were really sharp. Miniskirts, Hypothetic, pried (esp considering the setup), and autopilot were all fire. On Inf’s end, he needed to come dooope here and he did. Opening personal & concept was flames, and I really liked the Adelaide wp bar it was worded well & banged. Inf’s trademark creativity was very evident in this battle, but overall I think it came down to Dom having the slightly more enjoyable concepts/wording & better highs so to speak. He got the W and moves onto the first LLL champ match this season.

King vs. Barcotic

Very dope battle here as well, and one that not short on controversy. Barc got his verse up early, and originally denied King and extension & was met with some pushback, but it is his right to not give his competitor additional time to write. Ultimately he granted the extension & they ended up going 24 with both dropping some dope lines & consistent verses. On barcs end, he had a couple clear misses to me but a lot of solid personals, gun bars, and creative concepts. Cowl screen,king of the dot, horizontal & kinki n weak were the standouts and all dope. On Kings end, he came out swinging with a hard hitting personal which was a dope concept, and had a bunch of what I would call ard hitting personals throughout his verse. Bruce Banner, Miss King, supplying dirt, yard time, and muffled pops were the standouts that all banged. In the end I think this came down to Barc probably having the more “creative” concepts & angles, while King had the harder hitting punches of the battle & it was up to the voters to determine which they thought outweighed the other. King won , Barc said he doesn’t want Zelph & Hello to vote on his battles anymore, and King gets Dom for the title.

Ryno vs Josh S.
Decent battle here with both writers having some ups & downs throughout. I’m very familiar with Ry over the last year and a half or so, & I wouldn’t call this his best effort (hence maybe why he signed out citing writers block – when he would’ve got a contendership battle). Black Panther open and the frequent closer were the highlights to me, but he was def. pretty solid throughout upon re-read. Josh I feel has come better in weeks past, and he had some concepts that got mixed reviews from the voters (i.e. family crest). Capoeira / Cop o era was forced to me. In the end Ryno won 5-1 in a solid but not spectacular battle.

Bodynatcher vs. Unfukwitable
Veryyyy underwhelming tbh for the quality I have seen these guys produce in the past. Body has since admitted he tried to go with a more wp oriented approach, which is cool, but it was almost very costly to him here as most of his attempts were flips that have been done before & lacked freshness. That’s the problem with the wp approach is that if someone has seen it done, it likely will be solid at best unless the flip is insane. Unfuk had a chance to really capitalie but didn’t and his verse seemed rush, especially rereading his closer. He had a couple creative concepts in the middle but I wouldn’t say they were impactful. Overall Body edged the win & both have said they agree it wasn’t their best. Hey, it happens.

Plot vs. Sinning
Hahaha ohh Sinning. Same old story of horribly forced multi set-ups, but this time he might have done 6 or 7 diff movie references with the same ‘plot’ concept at heart. Verse was too repetitive & played, Sinning doesn’t really seem to say much in the league threads. He’ll prob just continuing dropping 16 wack bars a day after the battle is posted and get the same continual feedback. Plot’s personal opener alone won him the battle, syntaxing and sinew np’s were also pretty cool & creative. Easy win here for Plot.

$pitacular vs JEM
Spit came with another solid verse this week and went with a wp heavy approach. I wasn’t a fan of a couple angles / concepts he ran with, but he had a good mix of fresh wp, humour and his ish was well worded as always. Harrassment was fiiire. JEM had been on a tear in the first two weeks with back to back top punch appearences, but man do I think he had an off week. Beto was a pretty creative and cool bar but aside from that theres nothing I would call better then decent at best. He’s shown that he’s capable of dropping some fire in the past so I expect a big bounce back moving forward. Spit took this hands down in an impressive showing.

Krang vs. Cred
Cred is becoming the new Orc with all the no-shows, which is disappointing as he has some fire gun bars when he is active. Krang is clearly an alias with skill, opener was dooope I really liked the swag and misdirection to it, Clout funny, and the Smoke/Papal closer was cool. Krang moves to 1-0 and Cred is signed out.

Ronin vs Hello There
Another DQ for Ronin to push him to 0-3. Long story short, he edited his verse an hour after his opponent posted replacing bars etc. The rule exists for this exact reason so he was DQ’d and HT’s verse was left open for feed. He’s made 3 or 4 aliases since trying to sign into the league to reset his record lol. Guy’s a clown straight up. HT’s verse was a mixed bag I thought, and the feed agreed. A couple dece lines, a couple nah misses. Hello There thinks everyone in the league sucks & that his own personal style is tantamount, which I find interesting but hey man you & like what you like. Closer nameplay was cool.

KnowP vs. Joe Boston
KnowP no showed, lame. Joe certainly had some creative angles, but none that id really call impactful or DOPE. Abstract lines typically only go one of two ways and most bars left me thinking okay cool but none making me say damn. Sucks you got no-showed, sorry JB.

Blue Bayou vs BLAS
Props for posting early with me. Pretty positive feedback on my verse for the most part, aside from Spit calling my approach formulaic and repetitive. I liked my golf opener as it related well to the league chat, thought it was jokes. Also really liked eventful nights & misdirection concepts, those are what id call my highlights this week. Blas opener was a cool flip, and Blue Book was fire. That said, you def used way too many nameplays imo. Even if most of them weren’t played I think that’s the feedback you’d get from the voters (max for a 16 line verse is prob 3). As the voters pointed out, Bluetooth, blueprints etc. have been done before – not your fault tbh that you aren’t familiar but that’s the risk you take with a nameplay heavy verse. Also the senior w/p is really played & ive seen a “Knuck/Chin like someone deep in thought” concept done before on NC. Overall with the exception of Grimm everyone voted for Blue and I got the W. Props Blas!

Prozac vs Deal Doe
Prozac NS’d here and NC. There was believe Deal Doe was a Zelph alias. Anyways, both no showed and are gone.

Week 3: Top TEN Punches - by Blue Bayou

1) Tell this coward to bar up for once. Least lines every week - I’ve seen enough of it
By going the miniskirts around the fact he’s a pussy w/ barely enough material to even cover it
-Dominate

2) Cant fuck with u, I keep real ones around me. no lame coward shit
To my people yard time is a one hour gift. To Bar? that's just an 8 hour shift
-King

3) Longbars in ur DNA, clown. This ain't HF dont let that faggot shit out
Unimpressed how a stretch for spit got off the ground & not sucked back in ya mouth
-Exalted

4) 10 seconds in bed n shes givin me head w/ a purpose
Kinki 'n weak...which is exactly what i expect with ur verse
-Barcotic

5) Can't wait to catch em sleepin, need a pillow or all the sound blares
U'll hear a muffled pop, then his eyes roll like his father called him downstairs
-King

6) I think it was a big mistake when ya girl asked if she could do me
now she won't leave me alone, & I swear harassment nothing to me.
-Spitacular

7) got ya bitch riding crazy. ur bae's a slave for the meat
ill make sure the Horizontal she gotta lay that way for a wk.
-Barcotic

8) he’s got no squad.. if he sticks around? no question this clown will die
we’ll watch bluebook it <— no wonder there’s no value in him being down to ride
-BLAS

9) i have eventful nights at the club & that is why i happily diss you
you have 'eventful' nights too.. bouncers don't let you in due to "capacity issues"
-Blue Bayou

10) So you think your texts bad guy, coz your really bad at text? Dog please,
Thanos ruined the multiverse, you just ruin a verse with multies.
-Plot

* Some absolute bangers this week. Props to all ! *

LLL Week 4 Predictions - by Clout

Bodysnatcher vs Barcotic

Bodysnatcher phoned in on twitter. He told me he gon' let dem thangs rang & turn Barc into Mulch. He said it will help fertilize the lands Barc works on. Then Barc was like "bitch please my wordplay is impenetrable, impregnable - Imaginary force-field time! *sound efx*". Then Body snatcher was like "hoe my side piece's weave takes more time to dispose of then yo leafy boy ass". But barcotic isn't one to take it lying down *pause*... =-0. BArcotic has land mines placed in his bars layered in obscure wording awaiting to blow Bodysnatcher to Smithereens. Can the merc with the mouth over come the Tree Barc who finna let the heat spark & Fertilize bodysnatchers sweet heart?!?! Or Will Body Snatcher The hotel Lobby Thrasher make it a suite victory & show barcotic; how philly got gun so big it'll ring dat bell, boy?!?! Meanwhile Clout sips coffee on a stoop in the scary gang lands of upper darby, playing chess with the Slyest white man alive @Sharp Nine .

50/50 ...I win either way cus its a battle i wanna see. Hows it feel to lose to clout boys?!?! muwhaha

Ronin Vs Lenox Vs Sinning

The man with 3 nipples and a Unibrow to match, will be wait... for it yall...BROWS-ing under his 10 accounts to research personals. All on Lenox the Perv who abuses the N Word & sinning w/ the pedo stache. 2 internet egos one who threatens to kill him self while the other many wish would just kill him self. Get ur emo make up kits ready because Sinning the tanned mexican Jesus is here to purge thy wicked gothies. He has a whole load of bible quotes coaxed in jokes from his latest bible study. He is the nacho libre who will let that fucking heat spray! The black veil brides will duke it out with the Rey mysterio of text. Ronin & Lennox will out KKK eachother while comparing suicidal threats to see whose more woeful. While Sinning will just not sure what he does inside that skull of his.

60/40 ronin

America wins this one. MAy the purge be a thing in here!

JEM vs unfukwittable

Man JEM is like the smoothest operator who isn't big daddy kane. My man can say fuck you to you in a text verse. Then take you out on the town and make you wanna rock an honorary Decoder ring. He's a cool guy man. JEM has the moves of a Drunken Monkey. The Poise of an irate Gorgon with pink eye. The Swagger & Ballet skills of an @Orc with 2 good non ALC tore knees(get well soon orcy). Its jem yall he tryna champ! Now Unfukwittable is coming off a loss that felt like a rushed verse. He is a decent writer. He just needs to no procrastinate on getting his bars in order. He has the power to make u cower. A vast vocab at his height of writing that'll lean more than the Eiffel tower after it sipped some henny. Can he redeem his past glory? Or Will he have to pick it up & start over like a game of jenga gone awry?!?!?

JEM 60/40

Blue Bayou vs Spit

Spit said he is bbq'ing some grub using Blues golf clubs as the poker. Spit is going to cream blue so bad.....he will be fresh served from a nepresso that u can buy now on amazon for the solid price of!!! Bayous dignity. These guys had an Epic showing can they do it again? Spit kills all things even turtle neck sweaters arent safe under his tyranny. Rules with an iron fist? More like the infinity gauntlet. While blue gets the pity votes with wordplays like "yo clout i read yo mag dog and umm I gauntlet u say that about me bro". Blue bayou is on a rampage except he's just doesn't look like the giant ape from the nintendo game. He just smells like one, but blue bayou aint worried why? Cus whats some spit compared to a walking canadian maple syrup filled loogi bro?!?! hes got more hair gel than oceans have water. He can definite hold this one out. But Spits like the fuck is a bayou good for? When we got Beaches in cali bitccccch. This will be interesting just make sure you guys get super ugly like Ronin tryna flex in his pics.

50/50 just depends on who has the better concepts.

Joe Boston vs Plot

Joe fucking boston my main man with the pension plan is here to make plot end like credits showing up on a threater screen. PLot is going to do his best to hurt Joe boston without killing him. Cause u gotta respect ur elders dude thats fucked up who beats up grandparents? Can boston throw tea party and overthrow the tyrant plot? Or will plot Have a pair of Denchers & used catheter to add to his Trophies from victims?!?!

Plot 60/40

Resin MIC vs LAy Doubt

The Street dude Sifu Who'll leave u more swollen than people who are allergic to seafood. Can his 1-2 Kung fu Undo all Doubt with the blunt truth?!?! Or will Lay Doubt get the gauge out & Gain clout?!?! Resin will use Linguistic forenseic science to show you why you should've been swallowed by ur mother at birth. Lay doubt just tells you your adopted & parents never loved you. So do ur country proud and kill yourself. Can resin the New school slayer & Old head savior Quell the laydoubt ones behavior? Or will Layd doubt rub do curls in Resin's coverted Power rack? LAy doubt wants nothing more than to say "Hey resin thats not a protien shake ur sippin, ya moron"

60/40 because resin is active while lay doubt has been laid off from text & is returning.

Josh S. VS Hello There

Josh The Sasquash of text is here to go ape shit. I wonder can he outdo the Non-Holiday Scrooge hello there? I mean hello there is the type to kick a crutch out from orc after he jsut gets surgery done. The guy has no heart man. He has been steadily improving. Josh S. has gotten heaps & bounds better as well. Hello there is going to stomp a mudhole in josh. WHile josh is going to judo chop his way to victory. I wonder which one will prevail. Will it Be the "GO jump on a bomb and chug acid" Mentality of Hello there or will Josh S choir boy act get the win!?!?

50/50

Blas vs Krang

The vocal Blas is not here to be your friend. He calls everyone out for shit votes or not voting enough. Its the long hair dont care clay mathews of text. Krang is a heartless bastard who made fun of Clouts lanky yet pewny brawn in a verse last week
50/50

Skurj. vs Exalted


Exalted had a solid showing vs Dominate. What i seen from skurg he wasn't capable of beating that verse EX dropped on Dom. But you never know. Can Exalted the Sultan slaughter skurj & sweet chin music his shadow? Or Will Skurj get blue bayous golf shoes on and be up to par & sandwich this mans brains.

70/30 Exalted

Dominate vs King

The koala Will climb this tree and take a shit from the top of it to let you know it truly rolls down hill. Dom has been menacing the league. He is a Non black Mayweather at this point & time. Dom's gonna treat king like Mayweather did his baby momma & beat a bitch down! King is suiting up to tango with the Kangaroo. Im sure thats borderline bestiality u freak! King is going to let those toes show this time girls. He gonna rock the sandles that this Australian Alien can't Handle. He gonna do his signature hair flip then body slam dom into the next hemipshere which is probably narnia? King Has his best Bow tie on. He is ready to dance & Serenade with grenades. But the Dingo Warrior is baring his teeth. All While Sharp nine, orc, clout decide on which beer is best for this event. Cheers - King make us proud or those tangerine boat shoes will end up in a river!

60/40 dom


Championship Interview with King - by Kill Spree

Whats good? fuckin two dope contenders matches last week... gameplan worked. What are your thought on last weeks opponent?

Whats good mang. It was a dope battle. Bar had a fire verse, luckily I was able to pull off the win.

Think you'll battle Barcotic again this season?

Probably.

Seasons First champ match... What are you going to need to do to beat Dom

Drop 20 lines that are better than his lol. But for real I don't know much about him so I'm not gonna have a ton of ammo for personals. Gonna have to be a little more creative for this one.

What are Dom's Pros/Cons?

Idk if I'm really familiar enough with his shit to say. So I guess Pros = Dudes clearly nice with it. Cons = He's battling the wrong dude this week.

If you champ...you going to stay in to defend the belt?

Actually a good question. I think so. I just don't want to battle the same 2-3 people repeatedly so it depends on who else steps up this season. I'd like to see @Resin M-I-C and @$pitacular1 make runs, @Lay Doubt is another dude I'd like to battle. @exhalted too. As long as i'm not battling Blue and Bar every other week I'll stay in lol.

What you got bumpin in the whip these days?

Been on my west coast underground lately. Gift of Gab, Lyrics Born. I love me the funky shit lol.

Any last words go head and speak on it.......

Gl @Dominate . lets put on a show.

Championship Interview with Dominate - by Kill Spree

fuckin two dope contenders matches last week... gameplan worked. What are your thought on Exalted?

Ex is very creative and he brought some really good bars in our battle. It was a good thing I didn't take him lightly. I think as the more experienced battler I was just able to word my concepts more effectively for the most part and that got me the win. Plus my miniskirts line was a pretty slick personal.


Think you'll battle Exalted again this season?

Yeah, very likely we'll both have record with a lot of wins so we'll get matched again. I look forward to it.


Seasons First champ match... What are you going to need to do to beat King


I was actually hoping to face Barc this week tbh - I don't know nearly as much about King which makes it harder to write for him. Finding angles to go in on him with will be key. Otherwise, hopefully I'll just think up enough generic lines that are good.


What are kings Pros/Cons?

His wording is generally excellent. To the point that he can take a wp concept that I would probably pass on for being too simple/played and turn it into something that hits - "worst landscaper ever - we want you to grow but you just keep supplying dirt" is a great example of that from last week's battle. Sometimes his wording isn't enough to overcome a concept that's just meh/boring, but that's OK. Everyone misses sometimes, - he just misses for a different reason when he does.

If you champ...you going to stay in to defend the belt?

For a bit, yeah. I'll have to sign out for a couple of weeks while I move house near the end of April but hopefully will get in some quality matches before that. I'm hoping to champ this week and then face Bayou the week after. We just had a battle on NC but neither of us were 100% happy with our verses, so it'd be cool to have a re-do with all the hype of a champ match behind it here.

What you got bumpin in the whip these days?

It's the Hamilton soundtrack atm. The 'cabinet battle' tracks are hilarious.


Any last words go head and speak on it.......

Loving the beef that's popping off in the chat. Looking forward to a Spit/Barc battle in the near future!

Week 3 S&F Review - by Barcotic

ok so first off i wanna say swag & flow really focuses MORE on rhyming ability, unique schemes, swagger and LESS on witty concepts buuuuuuut its still good to have all of the above. the guy who can rhyme flawless WHILE incorporating creative sting will always get the nod over the guy who just rhymes flawless. theres obviously other factors involved, but thats the jist of it. thats where skill separates the men from the boys

secondly, we got a pretty good turnout here. not as good as last wk's roast but still
+ we got a lot of everything in this

heres some of the quotables from everybody's bars...

bold=fire

Hello There
My days are boardroom meetings.. whores, booze, beatings..
Your dudes tweeting makes me bored, snooze, weeping..
Your moves' meaning doesn't splash in my world view..
Like, cash? Worryin' about my stacks' what my girl do..
Summered in Europe, last winter in Prague..
Smashed spinners and PAWGs, no dinner involved..

Blue Bayou
there’s carnage in brawls when i target & maul
Northern Lights is the hardest to haul, but still that ‘Dro-gon' get Blazed’ no Dracaris involved
ain’t got the heart or the gall. you’ll taste the nine when i take what’s mine
after i retire as a great w/ shine, i’ll smoke Degrasse w/ Neil - baked n’ high talkin space & time

Ryno
My uncle wrist motion was potent, even the feds raid his crib till they’re tired
“You’re a big kid now”...that’s what he said before he stuffed a brick in my diaper
Catchin zzzs to live ammunition, blackin out to the lbs in a flash
4 yrs old - sleeping like a baby when my mama put a round in my dad

Exalted
Glock on my waist locked to engage.. grab an extra - toss it to Neigh
Toy Barkkk in ya face.. we bred different & i'll send my Minature Dogs for a case.

Spitacular
'm here to kill ya joy. been textin' since most you fags was still a boy
facts. I been a beast so long mufuckas know I'm the real McCoy
when it comes to game I'm a God, so when I'm spittin dude is vicious
& now I'm on a missionary day, to fuck your bitch in new positions
plus anytime I set a Target, I land the slut with the bomb precision
pick up two dikes at once, my scissor lift cut out the competition

Greedy
I got the presence of a Presidency
Ill press a dent in u, peasant... shoulda prepped for my prepotency
Cuz All i know is hallways, n staircases
robberies barefaced, Probably in wallabees- all greys or rare Asics
New MK..
flag wrapped around the stick, cue Baraka..
Let my shooter from Cuba rock
Plain Jane Rollie, not a cube or rock
Still dropped 44 for the Prezzy.. cue Barak

Lenox
Wax give me low eyes, Up in da club like it’s 05,
in the low ride ice crushed in the cup while we slow drive,
Walk into my driveway, underneath the concretes a goldmine,
And those foes who chose to stole mine, 45 shoot like 4,5..

Josh S
I'm awesome with the pen..
the calm b4 the storm throwing caution to the wind
From the coffin to the gym..
Skipped out on certain death then I caught em in the chin

Plethora
pair of lefts like Errol Spence w/ palms up, u getting ur tarot read
bare or dressed, both fists bone dense sharp as an arrowheads' narrow end
swear to death niggas is scared of pleth when i air the tech
from Chicago to Maryland this arrogant Cred heir apparent settling for second best
krane kick your face in til u look like Jason X mixed with Amen
that's a heinous combo, but u already ugly as rajan rondo on the lakers bench

Resin
playing the dames.. fucked all the hot teachers & it’s staying the same..
it gave me the fame.. nothn but 100’s on the pape, i hold up like a chamberlain game.
neva paying with change.. now i plot calm, hand on titties, got palms
the shit’s spot onn.. broads in my domain open up and give brains- rotten dot com

annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd the winner

IS
.
.
.

Greedy

yep, unfortunately
i gotta give props where its due tho.. that was some creative & dope writing, pal
congrats


OUTRO

-Sign in to the 1-2 on NC if you aren’t already. Also, many of the PPV battles need votes, a lot of great reads so go vote. FTC!

-Barcotic is in the process of judging last weeks S&F challenge. Will update soon!

spit & i battled 3x in the "modern day" :)

im the one who thinks krang is orc
dope mag. still reading

edit

yeah, gd read all the way thru

dope mag once again. props on the effort.

clouts predictions had me rolling lmao

Clout's predictions keep text alive for me lol.. Good shit all, props for the consistency

Great mag again guys, props for churning it out every week

Thanks all

Sorry im not adding 94849 chicks etc. that a lot of other mags have... Don't have time for the fluff, we all know what pussy looks like

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Blue Bayou

Thanks all

Sorry im not adding 94849 chicks etc. that a lot of other mags have... Don't have time for the fluff, most of us know what pussy looks like

---

*fixed

Haha... Well played

Dope ass mag! Damn though why didn’t my long nose Jew line get props thanks @hello there lol.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Joe Boston

Dope ass mag! Damn though why didn’t my long nose Jew line get props thanks @hello there lol.

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No hate, ita just one persons opinion
Long nose lines are a bit over done to me personally, but sure the Jew comp is cool
Wording - "it" should've been them
I don't really see how the each organ fed to you realllly tied the bar together.. kosher eat / Jew okay ya cool, but I wouldn't say it's better then any of the 10 top punches listed personally

Dope af. Man whatever happens this season, whoever wins, this season is going to be dope just because of all the contributors. Some serious writing going on in the mag, not just the battles.

..AND cyphers ;)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Barcotic

..AND cyphers ;)

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Agreed

Dope

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Blue Bayou

Thanks all

Sorry im not adding 94849 chicks etc. that a lot of other mags have... Don't have time for the fluff, we all know what pussy looks like

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I swear to fucking christ, if I have to explain one more time that I don't hate everyone's shit...

... I literally read the other people's votes after I vote, to make sure I'm not out of my mind. Cuz everyone seems to hate every way I vote, no matter even if I vote the exact same on the exact same bars in the exact same battle.

That said, good mag. Tight work with the league so far.

Ya clown.

PS make drop days Friday.