Elevate

Im a elevate my shit in perfecion instead of imperfection cause it almost got worst be to an infection,
but let me study all the classic and start revising my stradegy cause last time i looked i was hard for me to see,
so im gonna try again and try to take to the next level in my life,
by being an mc legend is what i want in my life,
have good time in my life,
spit one last time before i die,
cause god gave me a gift so now im gonna get game to uplift,
then i will build like the twin towers
but im bring more lyrical minded power,
so let me elevate like lebron james going up 4 the dunk,
but fuck i need alot work if I want my game to go up,
cause i don't then i fuck all up
like i always do
but fuck that when i tell momma that all mc's think im tha best
shes gonna im so proud of u,
so god please power move up to a rate
cause wanna fuckin make my rap game elevate//

Recent pieces
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=221532
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=221532

post comments

dawg u have 2 leave 2 links u left feed on otha open miics so it wont close......
but overall it was st8 nice structure........
jus keep elevatin and keep postin............

Structuring your verse better will give you more space to clean up the line length. You know you need to elevate, and one of the main areas to work on is rhyming, which will come with practice. You started the piece off rhyming "perfection" and "imperfection", then later on had the three lines rhyming "life." Vocab and wordplay were basic, keep at it though, read other pieces, and keep writing.
Return the feedback
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=219649

Quote:

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Originally Posted by wyte boy$

dawg u have 2 leave 2 links u left feed on otha open miics so it wont close......
but overall it was st8 nice structure........
jus keep elevatin and keep postin............

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what do mean thathave to leave 2 links? about what?

u have 2 leave 2 links from 2 otha open mics that u left feed back on or they will close this.........

Quote:

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Originally Posted by wyte boy$

u have 2 leave 2 links from 2 otha open mics that u left feed back on or they will close this.........

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like my other pieces that have done

no otha open mics that otha people did........
leave feedback on 2 open mics and then post the sites here....

but how do i make it a link

you do need to read tha rules before you post something..and even though the mods arent doing anything about now...they will start closing your posts and shit.....and ive heard that "start revising my strategy" line...either way..you need to elevate some more and reply to someones posts and leave links...~1~

dis nigga didn't leave 2 links like he was supposed too but..........newayz da piece wasn't long enough........and had a hard flow too follow........and I know for a fact da first bar didn't even rhyme at all.....u really need to elevate and be more serious before droppin in open mic.....ya structure was stretchy and not good.......make it like dis next time..
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and u should be str8..............i give it a 3/10........keep elevating.