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Lifetime Insanity.
Lifetime.
Leximus
From people staring me down
To children laughing in my face
I'm going insane in this town
Are these people of the human race
Eyes watch me within every step I take
I'm not crazy, but if I'm right...
These people have no eyes
Do these people burden gods plague
They cant see, I'm here but do they realize
That I'm in need of help, but all they do is look my way
Their eye sockets sit there on their head, empty
I want to tell them to stop..
But what the hell am I suppose to say
Insanity getting to a breaking limit, starting to tempt me
Nose starts bleeding, jaw starts aching in pain
Itching so hard that I nearly slit my own vein
Creative way to kill a man, drive him insane
I have so much to lose. They have so much to gain
Killing me gives them food, shit probably eyes too
"What is going on!? What is wrong with you?!"
They say I have no idea what they've gone through
"No I don't and I don't care, your like animals that escaped the zoo"
Monsters with no heart or emotions, like a Horror flick
My lifetime is coming to a end, I hear the clock tick
When my life ends these people will find a new person,
They'll find a friend of mine and create a new conflict
I'm laying down, stomach sick. I'm sure they'll clear my name
Prove no lost to blame and end up with a mouth full of my brain
While I lay there for the hours in and hours out I start to have visions
Held down with so much tension, sentences with words that keep trippen
I have so much to say, but my tongue is at the back at my throat
Still alive, surprised that I'm yet to fade off to death by a simple choke
They circle me with their eyeless heads hanging down, hovering over me
Plain to see that they some out notice me, notice how I'm laying there..
While I look up with one eye open, I'm just a soul that ended up crippled
A snake strikes at me leg though I cant cry, now this pain is tripled
I close my eyes in hope that I die, but they just stand there..I try to move
I turn onto my stomach with my back in the air, ground is smooth
I open my eyes and look around, that is when I notice what was going on
It was all a nightmare, I thank god...but then I feel a breeze of fear
When I go in the bathroom I brake the mirror, look in the bathtub
I notice there's a blood smear and there's water..my reflection cant be right
But I notice that it is. My eyes have been removed.
How do I know that my eyes have been removed? Ask my family.
Is it out of pure luck and religion? No, its my Lifetime Insanity
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Leave a link and I'l RTF.
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wtf @ that. weird ..Ok, so the storyline was a bit creepy and it didn't have MUCH of a twist to it but it wasn't so rediculously predictable like most of your pieces usually are. i think you have grammer and wording issues still, like the way you use your words. and you don't have much of a flow. you have a lack of internals but with the way your wording is it'd be hard to word things here with internals at all. i'm not telling you to take a different approach cause that'd be wrong, but i am saying to expirament with flow more, be creative. your storylines don't seem to be an issue at all, some original some mediocre, like this piece is an average piece. one of the best solo writes you've done but you can do better. a thing i suggest NOT to do that often with pieces, unless it completely fits in, is don't writeup all this shit ..and say towards the end that it was all a dream ..because that ruins the whole piece and makes it meaningless. sometimes it can be a good twist, but sometimes it makes an entire piece worth nothing so ..keep writing.
- Nash
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