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Thread: September 11th

  1. #1
    Ill..
    Guest

    September 11th

    SEPTEMBER 11TH

    WRITTEN BY Ill..


    September 11th 2001 it said on the calendar where I live and dwell
    This day of death, soon will collapse and fall to the depths of hell.
    I left for work, I was in a happy mood as the day started really fine
    Kissed my girlfriend, never knowing this would be for the last time.
    Drove to my grave and parked the car, put the meter set for 8 hours
    I then quickly looked at death, what stared back was the twin towers.
    Got to the elevator, the floor from where I’d fall was the floor 2436
    Got to my desk opened up my star bucks coffee and my eat twix.
    Started typing a letter, the words on the page would never be read
    Instead it was like return to sender, but the sender would soon be dead.
    The morning went slowly, as I felt quite sick from the night before
    I got drunk last night, this is what I worried bout getting FIRED for.
    Suddenly my world shock, rocked me to my soul and off my feet
    Suddenly there were Tables flying, telephones, fax paper and seats.
    The shaking stopped, we said we never seen a earthquake that great
    Walked to the broken windows looked down on hell and our fate.
    The fire stared though our souls, as people got confused and panicked
    We barely even got to the stairs, before the second aircraft hit.
    Flung off my feet for the second time, this time hitting my face
    Blood poured from my nose but I couldn’t stop, needed out of this place.
    We went down 14 flights of stairs, but due to fire we’d have to go back
    There would be no way out for us, death had us exposed and trapped.
    The fire raged floor to floor finally we hit the end and only had one
    I Thought about my life and what I’d achieved and stuff I’d done
    Walked toward the window, staring to the dots of buildings below
    Wished my girlfriend would understand, fire is not how I want to go.
    One last look at the inferno the hounded us, and all the other people
    Jumped head first toward my concrete grave, I fall from heaven in freefall
    As I get ever Closer and closer toward the ground
    I start spinning, twisting around, falling down
    Suddenly I opened my eyes again to kissing my girlfriend
    I had day dreamed all that bout seeing my end
    I had a bad feeling, so I decided not to go to work from where I was hired
    But my boss wouldn’t except that, soon they would all be fired.


    R.I.P
    Last edited by Ill..; May 24th, 2004 at 05:51 AM

  2. #2
    Banned
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Newcastle
    Age
    37
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    Links?







    The pice was good, exept that its been done..alot.. but other than that, imagery, detail, and vocab was there, flow was..eh, hopefuilly not at best, and lyrix over all were just under superb

  3. #3
    Banned
    Join Date
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    Mifflinburg, PA
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    You need to reply to 2 open mics and leave the links to them in this thread or this gets closed, Thanks.

    But Yeah I agree This Was A Pretty Good Piece...You Kept My Attention Through Out It....Lines Were Kinda Long Which Took Away From Some Of The Flow....You Had Some Good Lines In There, That Kinda Stood Out...Kinda Liked The End To It....But Overall This Was Alright.

  4. #4
    Ill..
    Guest
    thanks guys uppin.................I'll do the links now

  5. #5
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
    Join Date
    Nov 2014
    Posts
    106
    this was a good piece...nothing mindblwing in terms of wit or anything like that......but a good piece nonetheless.......the first part was more experimental....pretty good ....something different.........i give this about a 7.5/10....keep droppin and elevatin kid and u'll be where u wanna be soon enuff.....u seem like u got alotta potential ....pz

  6. #6
    Ill..
    Guest
    maybe you didnt read the bottom of my sig

    i'm TIMELESS

    been around for a while, had a record of 19-3 and 900 + posts!!

    thanks anyway!!!

  7. #7
    Big Kountry
    Guest
    yo man really felling this piece

    you put alot of heart into this

    almost mad me cry

    *sniff-sniff*

  8. #8
    Banned
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Mifflinburg, PA
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    Battle Record
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    Closed. You Can PM Me With Them If You Like.

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