User Tag List

Showing results 1 to 7 of 7

Thread: Inside

  1. #1
    Truth.
    Guest

    Inside

    Inside

    Fake friends lose ends unperishable feelings ahead
    So many thoughts on perspectives racing in my head
    Telling me different conclusions on where to prevail
    My ships in a dark and stormy sea but I must set sail
    Towards my hypothisis in life an prove if you do try
    You won't die a failure because your spirit survived
    I'm sitting here alone an I hear nothing but whispers
    Touching my skin piercing my tears cause I miss her
    But love is something that's over rated to ones heart
    For it isn't what fails you it's your mind that departs
    An makes you feel what you feel inside turning knots
    Remember everyday is another self made building block
    Pain does stop an tears do rot an your cheek or wherever
    Gone doesn't mean the memeries aren't there forever
    Inside me I know this but still I challenge my emotions
    Tear vs thought an it creates me to believe this notion
    Winners never quit quitters never win i've said it before
    That's a sentance that in six words says actually a lot more
    People over look danger fialure even certian decisions
    It is who you are an your morols that cause collisions
    Allow you to break down think about a self homicide
    But why? Because you're not feeling like heaven inside?
    The population has the population thinking negitive right?
    What point do you break away from the population to fight?
    Or show that one person you feel trust towards them?
    Cause that perfect oppurunity may not ever come again
    I feel alone hated rejected and over looked sometimes
    Everybody has a story, a matter if you read between the lines
    Jusice sometimes isn't the worst punishment I believe
    It's what you sentance yourself to feel inside your dreams
    When you're asleep do you actually sleep or just wonder
    If you had changed what you did would things be better?
    It doesn't matter forget the past you can't touch it again
    Change your future you just need to be prepare my friend
    I feel, lost, alone, angry, self centered with no desire
    I sit in a flame of hope but society an fake friends trap the fire
    Regardless of how many tears I cry how alone I feel inside
    I know I gotta be greatful for my decisions an that i'm alive

  2. #2
    peoples tries 2 fade me.. HyaLine's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2002
    Location
    Toledo
    Age
    40
    Posts
    832
    damn

    Damn

    DAMN

    that was really nice, so real it hurts, i gess thats why you changed your name to TRUTH

    i've felt this way before too,
    "I know I gotta be greatful for my decisions an that i'm alive"
    ^^but thats the key right there

    loved the way this flowed too, its the form i usually use for my freewritting so i could read it straight like i just wrote it
    ~*~ Droppin mediocre shit on RB since 2001 ~*~




    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.



    Aesthetic Values.
    If you don't know what it means, Fuck You.

  3. #3
    Truth.
    Guest
    Thanks, up.

  4. #4
    Fear Before The March Foreshadow's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Location
    Portland, Oregon
    Posts
    3,107
    Battle Record
    8-8
    Truth good work. I like how this was sort of a negative and positive piece. Like how you said how love will basically kick you around and how its in your head and you can build each day to forget. I dont know if I'm even close but thats what this poem hit me as. I liked the flow it had to it and the imaginary was well done. I thought that some details could have been stronger but this poem turned out real nice. Keep dropping and stay active.

  5. #5
    You've Earned a Custom Title! sNoopfox's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    Nottingham
    Age
    41
    Posts
    328
    I respect this piece. What you read is what you get...
    There's no underlying meaning behind it, just truthful words...your speaking right at us and I'm damn sure everyone who reads this can connect with it.
    It was a very uplifting read, I might read it again when I'm feeling down

    It had a decent flow to it, sometimes the bars were a little stretched...

    Overall it was a touching read and contained alot of truth.

    Keep it up.

    sNoopfox
    Gone. Like Dust.

  6. #6
    Truth.
    Guest
    Thanks fellas for the feedback, and critique. Positive or negitive it helps.

  7. #7
    Truth.
    Guest
    Feedback On This Site Is Just Incredible, Wow

Similar Threads

  1. On the inside
    By DB in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: September 19th, 2009, 09:01 PM
  2. Keep it Inside
    By silentAwedience in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: January 13th, 2009, 10:39 PM
  3. Inside Looking Out
    By Leonidas in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: December 27th, 2007, 12:20 AM
  4. Inside
    By Truth. in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: February 23rd, 2005, 08:47 PM
  5. From the Inside
    By Fresh in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: August 27th, 2004, 04:10 PM

Posting Rules

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •