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Thread: Cremation of Souls: Pakaveli & Silent

  1. #1
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
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    Cremation of Souls: Pakaveli & Silent



    Cremation of Souls

    Silent
    Pakaveli

    As fear is looked dear, straight in the eye
    animosity builds with strides of carelessness that collides
    taunting breeding, Hurtful feelings good-bye
    Waived on a decadent plateau of emancipated tears and lies
    seeking of a reason for these unanswered questions
    Laying helpless on thy floor covered with bruises of ones perfection
    Battered dimension, trampled in digression
    She searches ever more still she is a lost cause even in her reflection.
    She rises to fall, crumbles to crawl
    The grip of Satan chokes with such a vice grip, she see's none at all
    The ocean settles crash, with a deceiving splash
    For she hopes for one day to be free as the waves, free at last
    Viewed as a failure, treated like a slave
    The world of world war 2 relives, She only runs to live in her own grave
    Her fragile fingers brush against the sands hold
    Carried to her own palace of freedom, not as a life but as a cremated soul

    “A cremated soul is a soul in peace”

    The sapling that had thrust away the branches of care
    That had snared the very essence of despair
    Stared now at the outspread allegory of love
    The pin pointed needles that stained the dove
    Gloves made from quintessences of Satan
    Drove wild boars in communities of Haitians
    Quailed minds that had married love now laughed
    As the alienated brethren further expired and starved
    The lone sauntering shadow of a man who once breathed
    Sheathed the charmed blade and then it grieved
    Grieved at the state of the place that was once in grace
    The place that now resembles a form laced by mace
    Hindered to form beauty into a harrowing scene
    The body oozes the flesh at the cremation of its being
    Last edited by P. Mortuus; July 10th, 2006 at 02:09 PM

  2. #2
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
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  3. #3
    You've Earned a Custom Title! A.O.D's Avatar
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    Laying helpless on thy floor covered with bruises of ones perfection
    Battered dimension, trampled in digression
    She searches ever more still she is a lost cause even in her reflection.
    She rises to fall, crumbles to crawl
    The grip of Satan chokes with such a vice grip, she see's none at all
    ^ Awsome wordage going on in there.

    Overall this was a wonderful collab... your styles meshed well so to speak. The vocab was consistent throughout. And although you both had a different structure going on it still worked. Nice job guys.
    I'm not back...I'm simply bored out of my mind.
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  4. #4
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
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    thanks preciate the comments
    Kiss me through the camera lens.
    TNL

  5. #5
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
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    Uppin^
    Kiss me through the camera lens.
    TNL

  6. #6
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
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    uppity for the suppity
    Kiss me through the camera lens.
    TNL

  7. #7
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
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    Come on dogs
    Kiss me through the camera lens.
    TNL

  8. #8
    Chop Chop Axe.'s Avatar
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    silent..your vs was nice in mettas and multies..not very complex..but alot of creativity in there..not bad vocab...or wordplay...your strucure looks funny{not saying you need to fix it or nothin}..but overall hot verse..

    and

    pakeveli..nice verse also...very nice flow and mettas also hot multies..both of yal verses were hot..different....but hot..i liked your vocab fa real...it all fitted good together..overall hot drop also..keep it up yal

    overall-19.4/20

    keep droppin hot drops like this..Hotness
    CΛVEMEN
    Axe


  9. #9
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
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    preciate the comments.
    Kiss me through the camera lens.
    TNL

  10. #10
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
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    uppin
    Kiss me through the camera lens.
    TNL

  11. #11
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pakaveli
    uppin
    .....
    Kiss me through the camera lens.
    TNL

  12. #12
    Banned
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    upping this shit man..lets go!..people dont sleep on this!

  13. #13
    Hellavated
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    really dont have time 2nite... edit in feed 2morrow i promise...
    I.J.L Reppin
    Tatt And Blue Perhaps You Knew

  14. #14
    VetWeight
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    upping this people come on!
    I Solomnly swear to heavens above
    Thou shall not fear no evil, and shead its love!




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  15. #15
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
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    YOu know how it goes when there hardly any comments, the thread goes ^
    Kiss me through the camera lens.
    TNL

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