"*69... exactly"

[Atti]

Do you feel pretty? -
I don't, not even a little.

How about weight,
do you think you're skinny?

Oh, hold a minute...

fluuuuuuuushhhhhhhhhhhhh

Ah, well, cuz I do.
Only sometimes though-
between meals when everyone points
and laughs.

100 finger index = -25 lbs.

Hey can I borrow that towel?

Ill be back momentarily-
I've just got to brush my teeth.

Ooooooook, I'm back.

Do men come on to you?
Be careful, there're a lot of creeps-

wash your face in purity;
then swallow your demise,

but he always leave a name: Rufy
Don't call him - he'll call you
... that type you know?

The telephone begins to bleed
and you fill your ears with chasers-

but how do you ignore it? -
I mean, this could be little Meagan's
real father.

His voice is always soooo seductive
underneath the deafening
of dial tone.

*69 ...exactly

You wait for his dusty voice
with hands crossed in your lap-

911 Operator, how may I help you mam?

... oh what a night.

["lil Neefy"]

Good stuff here atti. Is this something that you had written a long time ago and just now put it together and released it? This just doesn't seem like your up to par writing. The whole story to this kind of got me in a jumble though. It was like, a convo, to a threat, to 911 call. I couldn't pick up on one of them. If you wish to enlighten my juvenile stupidity that'd be great. The material to this was good though. Emotion was there, kinda. It was an out-of-the-ordinary piece for emotion to me. The beginning was, and it began to drift away as the piece went on in my opinion. All in all though this was still above average writing.

[Atti]

haha ya, this was an old one i just posted so that i can have it in my archive... the new one is 'Crusifixion of the Paper Tiger.' but ya, the story behind it is basically a post-rape. the insecurities women go through afterwards, because often they become hypersensitive after rape (for obvious reasons). but ya, that's about it. it is an old piece though.