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Thread: So Ironic.

  1. #1
    racist.
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    So Ironic.

    It's standing there..
    Opportunity just waits on
    me to grant it the attention
    it justly deserves.

    No, the wind won't move her,
    Nor will time stand still for her...
    The Devil's hate wouldn't bother her,
    But her peers' would emotionally scar her...
    You couldn't sway her beliefs,
    But you could make her think harder...
    Being poor wouldn't bother her one bit,
    Just the thought of others being that way does...

    Money wouldn't change her,
    but then again what would?

    She's purer than the fountain of youth,
    yet more down to earth than the southern
    dirt ground she was raised on.

    Some say she isn't right for me,
    I say that some shouldn't be given
    attention to.

    She's nothing short of perfect,
    though a scale of perfection can't
    even contain a fifth of her.

  2. #2
    bye. Heychoo's Avatar
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    Re: So Ironic.

    holla atcha boy
    glycerine.

  3. #3
    Banned
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    Re: So Ironic.

    DOG THIS IS RAP NOT SINGIN SO KEEP LOOKIN AT MY RAP PLAYER THANKS FOR CAMEINhttp://www.rapbattles.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=5#

  4. #4
    racist.
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    Re: So Ironic.

    um? ok? i forgot about this. forgot about writing this. damn i like this shit.. feed on this fuckers.

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    Originally Posted by Kid Inc.
    I know youll cry about this like a baby back bitch but at this point I HONESTLY think our country would be better off if a country like China took us over. Maybe they could fix this mess that we call a country up a little bit.
    .. lol

  5. #5
    bye. Heychoo's Avatar
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    Re: So Ironic.

    ya;
    glycerine.

  6. #6
    bye. Heychoo's Avatar
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    Re: So Ironic.

    k then.
    glycerine.

  7. #7
    Soule
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    Re: So Ironic.

    Nice poem man. it was really good and emotional. I felt like your wording was great, it really was. The Structre was very original which is cool. I liked the storyline here. Keep at it man, your getting there.

  8. #8
    Soule
    Guest

    Re: So Ironic.

    Nice poem man. it was really good and emotional. I felt like your wording was great, it really was. The Structre was very original which is cool. I liked the storyline here. Keep at it man, your getting there.

  9. #9
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    Re: So Ironic.

    yea this was a very emotional piece. it couldnt have been done better. and the structure was pretty consistant. you did good work, man.. keep it up. im sorry for such a short feedback. but im in a rush. i got to pick my girl up at her friends house in like 10 minutes.

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  10. #10
    The Best
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    Re: So Ironic.

    i like this, its very heartfelt, its the epitamy of what a love poem is... the way you wrote as if your love and her beauty are limitless, by using words like "yet"... and still compared it to THE limit.. is classic poetry.. good write man.

  11. #11
    bye. Heychoo's Avatar
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    Re: So Ironic.

    one more up. i think i like this one. a lot.
    glycerine.

  12. #12
    Bye bye black bird Poeta Demonio's Avatar
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    Re: So Ironic.

    Closed- 3poems open
    AI


    “ˇViva la Revolución!”

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