Seriously

[Gabriel]

Seriously…
How hard could it be to write a verse?
I have the mind and a drive and the thirst
I guess the prose needs work.
I suppose its worth…
The effort to never let anyone get the better
of me.

No. That didn’t work. I should tone down the ego some.

With a pen I draw this blank…is that too abstract?
Depends on my grasp of the topic and its syntax

Maybe I should just rhyme a lot…

About how this pens pawns drawn to the dawn of Avalon
I could ramble and babble on acting strong… ha ha ha that’s just…

O.K.

Seriously…

I’ll just come clean, I want write again
Inspired by my team, to start typing again
Make a return; or rather reclaim my old talent
Though my biggest concern to is admit…
I never had it

[Gabriel]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...us-356369.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...go-356382.html

[Seyance]

Wow, really nice.. it was so short, yet you made every point so precisely.. could actually feel the feeling behind what you were writing, which is something i usually struggle to do. Theres a few off syllables with the multi like the 'typing again' bit.. that made me go =/
You held together the styles people use well, i could see you questioning yourself on these points in real.. choosing the style to write with. But then incapsulated with the fact you actually wrote with none of these when doing the actual whole shit.

[Brandon Heat]

*dead*

[Judge Judy]

Wow, really nice.. it was so short, yet you made every point so precisely.. could actually feel the feeling behind what you were writing, which is something i usually struggle to do. Theres a few off syllables with the multi like the 'typing again' bit.. that made me go =/
You held together the styles people use well, i could see you questioning yourself on these points in real.. choosing the style to write with. But then incapsulated with the fact you actually wrote with none of these when doing the actual whole shit.

ROFL.

sorry....it was needed

[Man of Steel Man]

this was cool...i like how you basically left a breakdown of your own piece that was kind a cool twist that i havent seen before...maybe its been done but i just havent seen it...basically you summed up what you want to do in your last verse...so pretty much laid it all out on the table for it, i dont think it was your intention to install any hidden meaning here...as far as the other ish goes...your structure was straight and each block stuck to an individual rhyme scheme which made the flow cool for the piece...thats my take...cheers

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...in-356668.html

^^^hit this when you have time

[Chris Black]

Lmao. I liked it. It immediately reminded me of "Book of Rhymes," by Nas. You can see the rust but your admittance of it is a great redeemable characteristic. Decent shit.

[Vincent Maestro]

Yeah that was a very original twist you introduced....now you can bet there'll be like 10 other OM's like it within the next Week.

Loved how you approached this om and wrote about your process of Writing...thats was such an original topic......I like where you were like:

Maybe I should just rhyme a lot…

About how this pens pawns drawn to the dawn of Avalon
I could ramble and babble on acting strong… ha ha ha that’s just…

O.K....as engivale will gladly tell you i'm very guilty of doing this At times.....but sometimes when I wite I like to write in a talking voice that way i can evoke more Sincerity.....but thats just me and my Weird self Speaking.

anyways....Nice drop
Rating: 8.9/10.....great originality...very inspiring Piece it'll make me think before i drop my next piece...so I'll actually try to come up with a Gripping Storyline.

1

[Jon]

shit i wont lie and say its dope. because truth is it wasnt. BUT, then again you're coming back from so long ago, and your didn't ramble off saying how good it was.. just keep doin shit like this and you'll be back in no time.. it was ok... just keep writing.

[Boxin Mics]

A short piece, but I guess it was alright. Nothing of my interest, but it didnt seem as if you focused much on this. Maybe try droppin' a lil somethin' longer, and has meaning. Sorry bro, but its just... Short, and not worth reading. Keep postin', and keep your head up. Happy New Years, and peace out.

[Richard Parker]

I kind of liked this. It has none of the technical greatness that a lot of other pieces have... but... most of those 'other pieces' are bullshit and don't really mean anything, and therefore don't interest me. This was truth and I thought it was pretty cool.

[Broly]

Sort of the same here^, cause in this piece you
admitted your rustiness, and all in all, this just overall
made perfect sence and was actual fact.