The Prelude...

[Uben. Sonned]

Let Your Mind Be Fooled By The Ways Of Man.
For Words Of Scripture Can Never Be Banned
The Chariot Roars As The Beast Takes Hold
The Warrior Rises, Purity In His Soul
Standing Tall No Mortal Can Face This
Fighting For Nothing Just The Simple Bliss
Piercing Eyes And Shallow Breath As He Attacks
He Made The First Move Now There’s No Turning Back
Strong And Brave, It’s Foolishness That Turns To Rage
Completely Dark, Harsh Land Sets The Stage
Burning Fires, The Wind Howls As He Marches On

Short simple...series of three....


Links Are Coming Shortley

[Uben. Sonned]

Link one

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...72008&posted=1

[~Random~]

Completely Dark, Harsh Land Sets The Stage
Burning Fires, The Wind Howls As He Marches On

Good shit uben... I like your sense imagination and how you use it to portray great imagery which is common to expect out of you. Vocab on touch, good flow, all 'n all dope drop. Bring on the next 2 pieces

[P. Mortuus]

This was a tad short....some lines didn't seem to fit in properly for example the bliss one seemed on a different meter/syllable count? then the rest and it made that lin ea bit awkard. The rhymescheme was simple, yet I thought it was good for the way it was written. Overall, I liked the piece, though generic and short, it was good whilst it lasted.

[Addict]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ry-367950.html
Hit this please an thanks


This was pretty short, But pretty good. The lines was kinda off on one another like Mortuus said but that didnt change much imo. Other then that i like this piece. Good shit

[Jawn Raw]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...29-367706.html
hit this

this was simple a plain, I never really found anything that interested me that well. this seemed more like an open mic piece than a poem cause you rhymed frequently with a simple rhyme scheme. most poets like to switch the rhyme schemes up to give it a more original twist thats separate from topicals. I didn't really find a message in this piece, you have potential though. the word choices could have been stronger, seemed like your grammar wasn't working in some spots. overall this isn't bad, next time try writing something longer and more in depth.