Sorry

[Heavy Christo C]

hey this is just a lil freestyle thanks,

Im sorry 4 wut i did 2 u i shuda treated u betta,
now i cant stop thinkin bout u,when guilt is makin me rite this letta,
i shuda respected u more like u deserved, shudnt have tried ta avoid u for no reason,
now i wanna stop it all, make tha clock stop n start freezin cuz i regret it all u were all i cared about,
i was a fisherman, u was my trout,
so ima tell u my story from tha heart, n maybe well stop always bein apart,

i was goin thru a rough time,
some girl was startin ta piss me off, she was a friend of a friend of mine,
1 day i lost it, n threw u 2 off, to me it was all over, gone n lost,
then tha next day im speakin with ma friends n tha same girl started sayin bullshit bout me,
i knew they were lies, n u just didnt trust me,
so u told someone u didnt wanna b friends,
i knew wut i wanted was neva goin happen it was tha end so i tried avoidin u so tha pain cud stop,
neva really happend, u was always my 1st thought,

im sorry for wut i did 2 u n i no i didnt yet explain,
im sorry cuz u did care n tha pain that i caused still remained,
while u were in pain i was pretendin to b alright,
u fell 4 it i guess, all i did was stay outta sight but in tha inside of ma heart,
u were shinnin like starlight,
i no u might neva forgive me n i understand,
but im ritin this letta cuz i miss u,
n im sorry for evrythin i did, numba 1 for dissin u,
all i ever wanted was for u ta be happy,
but instead i made em worse, i made em crappy,

[Orijin]

ok...i get the concept of an apology letter...but the flow was horribly off...unless you were goin for somethin else other then rappin....a bit simple but this topic doesn't need to be complex so thats whatever....but you coulda closed this alot better....kinda left hangin there

[The Smarter Martyr]

*cough* Garbage *cough*


No but for real man,you need to work on a lot,structure,flow,multies..whatever man,keep practicing...make it happen.

[Orijin]

*cough* Garbage *cough*

can you ATLEAST explain WHY it's garbage!? lmao

[The Smarter Martyr]

I edited it after i realised that was kind of a jerk off thing to do...but yeah..

sorry for the freepost.

[Cliff.Hanger]

Yo

I liked how u tried to go deep

it didnt work but atleast u tried
u tried to do everything but it was just off

it'll coem with practice.
Like u'd have a bar tht wud flow kinda n shit

thn u switch it up n throw it off
Just stay with the same rymeskeme.
Shit was really just fucked lol
But yeah just practice flown n shit cuzz the verse was mad choppy aswell

[Heavy Christo C]

thnk 4 feedback guys

[VodkaRev<3]

this was just really.... messy. and your abbreviations of words, or alterations of words such as 'ma', '4', 'u', 'b'... just wasnt flattering. it didn't flow very well, like you had a short line then a longgggggggg line.. just was all random and messy. although you did try... so i suppose thats something maybe start with working on your vocabulary and language.. just wasn't very good hun..

fav line...

i was a fisherman, u was my trout,

...beacuse of humor, not because it was good. but i did actually laugh out loud when i read that.. hahahhahah..

keep going though, practice makes nearly perfect...eventually

[Heavy Christo C]

thanks