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Thread: LOve???

  1. #1
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    LOve???

    you ever felt like
    love never felt right
    cupid got his hands around your neck
    as he squeezes your belt tight
    memories from your past suffocate you most nights
    neck deep in your sorrows as you swallow the pain
    so you cant even choke right
    every thing you thought you knew about love is wrong
    your relationshis never go right
    so she left
    and you head straight down that narrow path of misery
    taking backward steps as you repeat history
    you realize you've become your father
    so the apple really dont fall to far from the tree
    and your mother be...
    i mean she...
    well now you finally understand her pains
    you see why she hesitates to hug you
    never say she loves you
    and your sister never had a fighting chance
    because she confused love with that feeling inside her pants
    so she measures how much a man loves her
    by how big his dick is and how good he is at sex
    and little brother mimics bigger brother
    so he takes it seriously when you say love is a bitch
    because thats what you call every chick...you say you in love with
    BITCHES!!!!!!!
    and bitches say they love real niggaz....so now you got uneducated men having sexual relations wit female dogs
    what artist paint this picture...who bought that garbage...then planted this shit in the same soil that raised our seeds
    broken needle crack pipe love prostituting lust
    erections before affection
    echoeing cries of orphaned little girls and bastard sons....for the cookie jar they reach
    in search for something sweet to eat
    because sometimes love be bitter like
    unripe fruit and unsweet tea
    love be like love me
    love me like the addict loves crack
    marijuana smoke
    lungs collapse and heart attacks
    love be like life support when its real like that
    sound waves produce lost vegetated minds
    so the BLACK EYED PEAS wonering where the love be at
    theh battered woman cries
    I LOVE YOU.....LOVE ME BACK!!!!!
    her voice speaks for the mass
    the broken man with the scarred heart screams
    I DO .....LOVE YOU!!!
    but he wears a mask
    EGO....
    so he go to the opposite of where she go
    unaware of the games they play they shoot free throws
    but little do they know that love be a free soul
    maybe tho......
    just maybe tho....
    they should let love go....and let GOD
    because love cannot hold
    with out GOD
    .............peace............
    this is dedicated to the broken hearted souls
    i pray that yall find love
    and i pray that love finds you
    "Poetry is an ART...RESPECT the Artist"

  2. #2
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    Re: LOve???

    give me some feed back

  3. #3
    You've Earned a Custom Title! konshens's Avatar
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    Re: LOve???

    first of all you need 2 links that you posted on and the vocab was good but you really didn't hit the topic, and with all do respect tghe structure was kinda off this shoulda bin in the poetic scriptures, but the flow was alright and your imagery was good but you need more in depth the length was good and that was about the just of it for the most part... but it was a good read and it kept me interested....
    rtf and use my link for on that you need
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...rs-399574.html
    flawless phonics from the godless kriminal konshens.
    honest a promise to murder massively
    with no accomplice....

  4. #4
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    Re: LOve???

    uhm,,,thanks

  5. #5
    You've Earned a Custom Title! konshens's Avatar
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    Re: LOve???

    lol i didn't mean any disrespect just telling you what i think of it and what could be done better
    flawless phonics from the godless kriminal konshens.
    honest a promise to murder massively
    with no accomplice....

  6. #6
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    Re: LOve???

    i am open mic artist...so a lot of my poems come off better when there are heard....not written....but as long as you got something from it im cool with al feed back

  7. #7
    You've Earned a Custom Title! konshens's Avatar
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    Re: LOve???

    ight can you return the feed to my latest topic life scars lookin for some feed back there
    flawless phonics from the godless kriminal konshens.
    honest a promise to murder massively
    with no accomplice....

  8. #8
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    Re: LOve???

    yo...lets battle...i aint a battle artist nor a rapper...but i am pretty lyrical....what you say....win or lose no hard feelings

  9. #9
    You've Earned a Custom Title! konshens's Avatar
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    Re: LOve???

    i am cool with that do you know how to set it up or do you wanna put it in the om as a collab
    flawless phonics from the godless kriminal konshens.
    honest a promise to murder massively
    with no accomplice....

  10. #10
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    Re: LOve???

    shit a collab is always cool....lets make it topical

  11. #11
    You've Earned a Custom Title! konshens's Avatar
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    Re: LOve???

    alright whats the topic?
    flawless phonics from the godless kriminal konshens.
    honest a promise to murder massively
    with no accomplice....

  12. #12
    All Things Must Pass. Issue's Avatar
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    Re: LOve???

    guys, this is what we have PM for on this site

  13. #13
    You've Earned a Custom Title! konshens's Avatar
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    Re: LOve???

    lol yeah i suppose you're right but we are discussing an om so i figured it suited lol
    flawless phonics from the godless kriminal konshens.
    honest a promise to murder massively
    with no accomplice....

  14. #14
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    Re: LOve???

    yes yes but it's against the rules to freepost, Im just saying incase this gets closed, just a head up

  15. #15
    I am in all things Well Versed's Avatar
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    Re: LOve???

    yo freepost my nutz...hey bruh not bad mayn...idc to feed much on this...as i JUST NOW SAID "FUCK ALL THIS POETIC SHYT"...sry mayn im only feedin piecez i deem worthy now...FUK U ALL!!!
    I cannot list all of my best lines inside this signature
    because they number in the tens of thousands.


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