"The Corner Store"

[+h3_B|@ck_+enchu]

short and sweet....tryin to get better on topics...bare with me


See its the place, where the hustla's n hoes...be
Somethin go down, same place where nobody would know...me
Full of the good, the bad, the ugly and pho...ny
But all of dis is right where the home...be
The Corner Store....

Entrepenuers, buildin stocks on the block
Hidin the product whenever they in sight of the cops
Once everything was clear, open shop right out of they socks
And in they back pocket you knew was the glock.....
The Corner Store....

The everybody meet up, spot, the hang out
Go in and grab some condoms fo you went and fucked her brains out
And if dem other niggas trip ya quick to pull dem thangs out
But you aint gotta worry bout that, at...
The Corner Store....

The only place in the world, where you could be at
To get some chips, find a drug dealer and meet a freak at
Somebody got a store in they trunk to go buy some sneaks at
So you can find me and all my peoples at....
The Corner Store....

my 2 links:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...id-399828.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ay-399743.html

[+h3_B|@ck_+enchu]

wow.......uppin

[DELETE MY ACCOUNT]

Dat was pretty mellow....i liked it...
I can see like a new show something like da movie Barbershop
dat would bake a bang~n intro...wit sumth~n like dat...
u could go on dat def poetry show....
i'ma really mellow nigga...so when i hear sumth~n good but mellow...it'z strong 4 me


The everybody meet up, spot, the hang out
Go in and grab some condoms fo you went and fucked her brains out
And if dem other niggas trip ya quick to pull dem thangs out
But you aint gotta worry bout that, at...
The Corner Store....

The only place in the world, where you could be at
To get some chips, find a drug dealer and meet a freak at
Somebody got a store in they trunk to go buy some sneaks at
So you can find me and all my peoples at....
The Corner Store....

those 2 were da main 1z to speak 2 me...keep it up brotha

[Kizmit_TUC]

nice ish homie, I liked the concept but. Details ya know explain more WHY is people at the Corner store give like a lotta shit going n make it longer good shit though RTF "Dea God" checc it

[Kazper™]

this was alright for what it was, would be sick on audio for shure... reminds me of some trick daddy shit or somethin you know? Personally I don't really like the whole gangster shoot em up cookin crack and slangin' gats concept it's to played out sence 50 cent. But I like how you carried it, you kept the flow constent, stuck to the message and overall dropped pretty solid on the topic, though like i said.. I'm not fond of wich direction you took it. stay up

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...nk-399845.html

[+h3_B|@ck_+enchu]

preciate it...i'll take all criticism into consideration...

[HYPOKRIT]

This was corny as hell. Really really bad. Shit might work for lil wayne or lil boosey or lil whatever the fuck stupid half wit no brain rapper comes out next. But in text this was very very simple and boring.

Sorry ill try to help. You know how you rhyme a word then another word but the second word is the same everytime ... that sucks. try using a different word. So the reader doesnt have to read out out out out at at at at at. Then try using longer words with more syllables.

[nineties flava]

This was aight for what it was. It wouldn't make for a song that was longer than 3:00 but if its like an interlude or somethin then its cool... if this aint a rap n its somethin u singin then my bad. Othawise just work on givin it a lil bit more depth... whats good about the corner store? Whats bad about it? U coulda said somethin bout the corner store itself... but anyway this was aight.


RTF on this:

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...60#post7077860