o shit look another rhyme wtf

[brokenhalo]

dont question my service the word is i left her Deserted
baby father hot as a thermos in compost mushrooms grow
fresh caps smell like french toast i got crack baby butter the biscuits
hit it and quit it
walk like a wizard on my back while the rain falls like a blizzard
cold as sterile tools in abortion clinics listen your food i can feel the hate in your approval of lines
your mind warped actin like your dealin with devils while the traps expandin
im sure your safe cause a man with decisions to make takes no chances
but nikkaz like me willing to shake the dice fill it with faith and lie willin to take your life im drilling the birdies dry only the most worthy high living the sturdy times test your foundation im 180 you cant even move 135
who you be thats a lie its where you go with what you have to supply
now im tight another stereotype and they feed off
the shit real niggas bleed off
earth deprives the resource lets snort the skis off
take it to the streets of new york you covered in chalk suttin like the class aim it's a damn shame when cash came fast
my dick did the same cause the money build a ego goin threw rages dont wanna ease the pain im a sadist like joel riffken fingering a hookers anus heinous i see slaves but ask where the chains is
brainless caught in the void of the vapors givein a voice to the haters ... take this gem and hide it in the playlist


http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...232/index.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...261/index.html

[N.F.M.]

Eh, it was okay. I'm not gonna diss you for tryin. Actually, if you just worked on your structure and written grammar, this could probably be a nice peice. You used some pretty decent imagery so I'll just give you props on that. Other than that, just keep rappin. No hate from me homie. Rap on. ^_^

[brokenhalo]

structure and grammer the grammer was correct the structures there its how you speak the verse the grammers like that on purpose it still gets the point across but your right i didnt talk about money