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Thread: first spit on site need feedback.

  1. #1
    golden_child
    Guest

    first spit on site need feedback.

    this is my first rap on site tell me your thoughts.

    this is a freestyl text

    multie killer.
    mental invisions of times in prison brings backs memories that ill be never forgetting,
    mind splitting like babana peels or sergery incisions, rap coalition had colissions in missions,
    that ended up in hospital perscriptions, and 2 whips was leakin i aint talkin transmission,
    so listen you think it was a wind strom the way money be flippin, pay attenchion,
    and not to mention you get smoked and naw dawg i dont mean blunts, u get popped with the standerd handle 12 gauge pump,
    thatll eat you for luch and tear away skin tissue, you think i was a guru the way theys lyrics up-lift you.


    im like a hundred doller bill the way niggaz afta my face, take hast like a kamakazy mission takin place,
    cause when im dropin grase shits tighter then a ballers shoes lace, lyrics turn to a quotable phrase and brew hate,
    got profites by the case, smoke some profit to the face, cause weeds considered safe buts burning is the only sinners fate,
    so why wait we going down in a basket but here shits drastic end goin down in a cascet, thats why we blast shit,
    never look apon the past shit, thats just mashed shit got money stretched like elastic they call this the classic,
    cause this is better then my last hits, more then ever, more then clever, drop more bombs then rainy wheather,
    these niggaz faker then pleather and move more wheight then feathers, the golden child nigga now tell me whos better!!!!

  2. #2
    golden_child
    Guest
    oh and i know madd words are misspelled i think to fast for my fingers.

  3. #3
    golden_child
    Guest
    yo come on plz help me elvate alittle and give me some feeback.

  4. #4
    doesnotexist
    Guest
    Well one piece of advice Ill give u is in Open mic peeps usualy dont like jus random battle rhymes and shit they like Topical shit, so if u are gon jus drop rhymes.....THEY BETTER BE SUPER ILL

  5. #5
    State_of_Mind
    Guest
    yo i liked this piece tho...vocab was REAL simple buh flow was good

    "im like a hundred doller bill the way niggaz afta my face, take hast like a kamakazy mission takin place,
    cause when im dropin grase shits tighter then a ballers shoes lace, lyrics turn to a quotable phrase and brew hate,
    got profites by the case, smoke some profit to the face, cause weeds considered safe buts burning is the only sinners fate"

    like that line...i wanna hear some more drops from u...look like u got some mad potential...hit me up on some feed back for my pieces

  6. #6
    Banned
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Mifflinburg, PA
    Posts
    6,693
    Battle Record
    12-1
    You need to leave a link to another open mic that you have replied to or this gets closed, Thanks.

  7. #7
    _Crisis_
    Guest
    It was coo I was feelin it

    mind splitting like babana peels or sergery incisions, rap coalition had colissions in missions,
    that ended up in hospital perscriptions, and 2 whips was leakin i aint talkin transmission,

    That was a hot line.I aint one to point out every little flaw, Ya skillz is str8 so keep doin ya thing

  8. #8
    golden_child
    Guest
    good looks on them feebacks. and ima post the thread of mine in a min.

  9. #9
    Banned
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Mifflinburg, PA
    Posts
    6,693
    Battle Record
    12-1
    Closed, Failed To Follow The Rules.

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