Liven the life

[EyeBite]

I'm liven the life i alwayz wanted to live
i wanted this life ever since i was a kid
now i'm livin the life i wanted this minute
i aint gonna end this life cuz u aint in it

I'm rich, loaded pistols and very sharp knives
livin single with out a fuckin worry of wives
i can do what i wanna do with out blockin
i got loaded pistols only needed for cockin
and after that step its ready for poppin
and i ant ever gonna be stoppin...fo real
i kill, and i'm nastey behind the wheel
i steal, i drug deal and go home to a meal
this life couldnt be any better or fun
and i am the one thats crazy wit a gun
thank god for bein a rapper and bein rich
i live with no kid and without a bitch
i can do what ever the fuck i want to do
and i will not hesitate to fuckin kill you

I'm liven the life i alwayz wanted to live
i wanted this life ever since i was a kid
now i'm livin the life i wanted this minute
i aint gonna end this life cuz u aint in it


^this life might seem a bit crazy
but i got a similar personality as shady

[EyeBite]

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=205921
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=245668
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=245704

[ApOsTaSy]

HEY SKRIBBLE THIS PIECE WAS ALRIGHT MAN. I WAS FEELING THE WHOLE STORY LINE, THE CREATIVITY, AND SOME OF THE WORDPLAY. I THINK THE ONLY PROBLEM WAS THE FACT THAT SOME OF IT SOUNDED A LITTLE REPETITIVE.

thank god for bein a rapper and bein rich
i live with no kid and without a bitch
i can do what ever the fuck i want to do
and i will not hesitate to fuckin kill you

I'm liven the life i alwayz wanted to live
i wanted this life ever since i was a kid
now i'm livin the life i wanted the minute
i aint gonna end this life cuz u aint in it

DOPE LINES^...ALONG WITH YOUR LITTLE CHORUS YOU HAD...KEEP IT UP.

[verbalvault]

this piece was ok. the flow was by far the best part, flowing quickly and smooth. but the whole acting gangsta on this site dont work. deep or funny are the only real concept for text vocab. however it reads well which i suppose is one of the main points

[`Ink]

This peice was alright, your strucutre was perfect, like VOOM! right down the middle, so it helped read. Next time dont bold it. Your rhyme shceme is to easy, use bigger words, rhyme more words per line, get some dope multies in there, dont keep it so basic, and when you did have multies they were kinda choppy. Your imigiry was fine, could have been a little more creative but for the most part you did fine.

I'll edit this post when I get back from school, and add more feed and suggestions, sorry but Im out of time.

Overall tho the peice was decent.

Good job, Im looking forward to seeing more Open Mics dropped from you.

[WordPloy]

uhm not bad
a bit simplistic in rhymes..and basic in thought
not much to write home about
was decent in format and flow tho
needed some ill multies and wordplay


pz

[Johnny 6-feet]

Skribble that first link was a reply you made from last June! Put a fresh one in please.

[BigBoss]

You had good multis. One of the better ones in my opinion was: "i kill, and i'm nastey behind the wheel
i steal i drug deal and go home to a meal" pretty good..
but, most of them sounded kinda forced, but its cool. It would sound better if you put more thoguht into them or didnt use them.Most of the verse was pretty basic.
altogether it wsa decent, the main thing i would say you needa work on is vocab, its cool tho.. also try and be real creative when it comes to topics.. hope it help bro

piece,

-Boss

[TwixSin]

alright.... i dont like the whole net thing saying you're hard cause we don't know that you have loaded pistols... all we know si that you got a sig and a name... so i like it better when people have things that alot of people can relate to... not bad though... strucutre was on... just work on content... when it comes to text rapping about you'reself gets weary... but good work n e way.

peace.

[EyeBite]

Johnny...aiight i'll get the link my bad..... i didjt know...ppl up shiot form months ago i just cpoy links from what ever has a black dot,...lol..i'll have the second link in a few

[Dark Knight]

good drop.....i like the multies you have in here..i'm impressed...nicely done....topic was cool and imaginary was good.....good drop..in this it had sum sick flow and sick lines....overall this was a 8.5/10...keep it up............peace