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Thread: Lockjaw

  1. #1
    Ass status_unknown's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    N.C
    Age
    36
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    1,664
    Battle Record
    65-15

    Lockjaw

    Given hip-hop's living will, told I'm executor
    Content and later action make me something more
    Tore from today's headlines, I find my place
    Spectator to a spectacle I suspect will grace my face
    Until it's dust again, and to heaven lust ascends
    And leave perpetual war to a world that ends
    Then again, there's always opportunity for action
    But my skin prunes soaking in what shoulda happened
    Midnight snacking on regret, while my mind don't seem to get
    The dawning of the next day, opportunity's paved
    Road, littered with roadkill, and oversized load filled
    Semis, semi-living, indifferent to what we hittin
    Written underneath the letters, ideas arteries severed
    Mistaken as a pen bleed, I mistook forever
    As it wasn't mine to take, but if it's there before I wake
    I'll add up my ache, lil' somethin I'll forsake
    For my sake, I'm hopin you doing well
    Losing your shadow to the shade in a cool corner of hell
    I felt time tap my shoulder as it passed me
    Only played me for the patsy as time is in the backseat
    And I'm drivin, ride this highway til the sky ends
    Then I'll parallel world park, gas up, and start again

    Links:
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=308803
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=308591

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  2. #2
    Newbie
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Age
    79
    Posts
    48
    Battle Record
    1-2
    nice verse Stat... like the imagery. flowed well too. i see poet tendencies in ur writing... good piece i liked it. wordplay was good.. hope to read more.

  3. #3
    Ass status_unknown's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    N.C
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    Battle Record
    65-15
    Thanks^

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  4. #4
    I like the flow. I can read through it pretty easily.
    Imagery is good. I can picture some of the lines in my mind.
    The vocab fits this piece nicely. Makes it sound pretty dope
    I really felt this piece. Good work.

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