The Rapper And The DJ

[CALIPH80]

can you please leave some feedback on my poem now.noone had left any and i've left feedback on like 10 poems here.

[Varentao]

I'll hit it up tomorrow, man. Tuesday at the latest. But i'll deffo hit it up.

[Dan Dare]

Darneck! Whattup.

This reminds me of my experiences of going to see a show and feeling disappointed afterwards. This has only happened to me a couple of times, but for some reason the bad experiences stick in your mind more than the positive ones... it sucks. Regarding vocabulary... I had to look up what bellicode means. Personally, I always think it's a bad thing if you have to use a dictionary to understand a poem. But KEEP WRITING!

Btw... lol @ Haiku. You can always tell the RB members who habitually skipped English classes. It never changes.

[abiona]

not much to say that hasnt already been said. agreed with the need to add a bit more to it... perhaps between the third and final stanza. transition felt missing there for me. on the other hand, i do like the clean / neat / sparse whatever you want to call it style you took... i tend to be overly wordy in my pieces and i strive for such compactness. nice.

[Varentao]

I'm good Jekyll. Nice to see you're still around. I agree the bad can stick in your head as much as the good, but to be fair, I usually remember the good performances more. It's just easier to write about the bad.

Abiona - Thanks for your critique. You're actually spot on about the missing stanza. I really appreciate the fact you spotted that. It was a bit of a quick write and I honestly got a block trying to link the two stanzas together. There's a whole in the story arch. I might work on it and try and add on at some point. Thanks.