"Lets Be Friends"

[+h3_B|@ck_+enchu]

I'll start with the white, if they was taught right, they can ignore it
parents inform it, but their performance is ignorant
you can learn what you want but what you learn is whats important
forget some of the shit your early role model's imported
go out and see whats goin on with other races
look past their faces cuz ya'll might of been in some similar places
got in trouble and went to court for familiar cases
probably just alike so aint no need to be racist
FACE IT!!!
I used to be stupid too, saw ya'll on TV
the x-games, and jumps out of planes, that wouldn't be me
investigatin dangerous shit, you seen the x-files
would see them in the sto' be like ...... go down the next aisle
and gangsta rap it aint our whole race, just what we use to
dem over strapped girbauds air force one's, and platinum fubu
plus most white folks dont care what they wear, i look at em strange
like "whats more important than a new outfit and a range?"
Mane
Im out of that state of mind, and you should be too
I'm glad the opportunity came, for us to meet you
Finally shook ya hand, "and friends," yea dat would be cool
but next time, i'll have some way more positive to greet you






heres my 2 links:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...pt-399848.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...re-399853.html

[Enemie (LP)]

yo nice man...the idea is clear but i feel like u cud of been more with the details, but yo nice piece. i like da multiz n the idea u puttin out..respect!

[DELETE MY ACCOUNT]

like i said b4...i still haven't heard nuff~n wack frm y'all...maybe datz jus me though...

look past their faces cuz ya'll might of been in some similar places
got in trouble and went to court for familiar cases

I used to be stupid too, saw ya'll on TV
the x-games, and jumps out of planes, that wouldn't be me
investigatin dangerous shit, you seen the x-files
would see them in the sto' be like ...... go down the next aisle
and gangsta rap it aint our whole race, just what we use to
dem over strapped girbauds air force one's, and platinum fubu

those were da 1z dat stood out 4 me...keep it up brotha...i'm behind u 100%

[SpitItReal27]

"I'll start with the white, if they was taught right, they can ignore it
parents inform it, but their performance is ignorant
you can learn what you want but what you learn is whats important
forget some of the shit your early role model's imported"

Very nice intro and the flow was on point... you definitely got somethin goin right in that piece...

[J Mo]

Definitely enjoyed that one!

and gangsta rap it aint our whole race, just what we use to
dem over strapped girbauds air force one's, and platinum fubu
plus most white folks dont care what they wear, i look at em strange
like "whats more important than a new outfit and a range?"

I like the message you were putting out for sure. I couldn't agree more! I think the rhyming and all itself was pretty average, but you took the time to include the multis and be creative. I'll keep lookin out for you.

[Yung Dash]

this lil part right here i could relate to

QUOTE

"go out and see whats goin on with other races
look past their faces cuz ya'll might of been in some similar places
got in trouble and went to court for familiar cases
probably just alike so aint no need to be racist
FACE IT"

nice work fam could be a lil more detailed but the shit u sayin was real

[LoSt SaNitY]

i feel you on this one but needs details flow is on point lil better rhyme scheme and its perfect

[Issue]

I'll start with the white, if they was taught right, they can ignore it
parents inform it, but their performance is ignorant
you can learn what you want but what you learn is whats important
forget some of the shit your early role model's imported
go out and see whats goin on with other races
look past their faces cuz ya'll might of been in some similar places
got in trouble and went to court for familiar cases
probably just alike so aint no need to be racist
FACE IT!!!
I used to be stupid too, saw ya'll on TV
the x-games, and jumps out of planes, that wouldn't be me
investigatin dangerous shit, you seen the x-files
would see them in the sto' be like ...... go down the next aisle
and gangsta rap it aint our whole race, just what we use to
dem over strapped girbauds air force one's, and platinum fubu
plus most white folks dont care what they wear, i look at em strange
like "whats more important than a new outfit and a range?"
Mane
Im out of that state of mind, and you should be too
I'm glad the opportunity came, for us to meet you
Finally shook ya hand, "and friends," yea dat would be cool
but next time, i'll have some way more positive to greet you






heres my 2 links:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...pt-399848.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...re-399853.html

I think you could have used the idea you had a lot more strongly in this. Rather than jumping from one line to the next about different thing, you should of taken a few bars for a few of the notions you touched on to explain a bit more; explain who you're talking about, why you're talking about them, & what you're trying to say. Talking about the X games & X files were completely un-needed & they could have been sacraficed that to build up the idea of what you saw white people as within themselves, rather than the fact you saw them on TV because the examples you gave could have meant anything & not made much sense in doing so. Are you trying to say only white people compete in the X games? Or you perceived white people to be like characters in the X files? That's almost ignorant to think, something which you say you're not. I'm not saying you are either, I just wished you would have branched out those ideas more & fixed them on something either more common or more suited to the piece itself. There is a british rap act called The Street who had a similar script to this for a song that was wrote for the Biggie Duets album, but instead of blacks to white, it was what he thought of Americans as an Englishman & I believe it to be similar to this. The end of it is that it wasn't included on the duets album because Americans wouldn't get it, so maybe because I'm white I don't understand, I just don't see how certain parts of this can attribute a black mans vision of white people?



Your flow & vocabulary, emotion & storytelling, were all somewhat boring if I'm honest because of the confines of the piece as a basic rant or narrative argument rather than a topical lead, but I think you failed in certain aspects by creating a wall for yourself with such bad examples given.

I'd like to see you out there with a new topical about something you will take the time to writer & include knowlege about,


Good luck man,


Please return the feed in my recent piece,


Revelry

[+h3_B|@ck_+enchu]

dsa wasup....im tryin to work on my details....not the best with topicals....das what im here for