riden

[abandon666]

I got my hand on my rachet and my homie got blasted
I ain't been the same since I seen him in the casket
My kids gettin older heart gettin colder
I'm beefin with the court I just lost another soldier
Gave him advice but aint seen the light
Cause aint thinkin twice and he said man u waz right
Now he payin the price send a k to the kites
Cause he's facin the fight gave him 18 to life
I gotta get him a pill be callin me the bill
But I'm in the battlefield with my hand on my steel
I gotta pay the bills you never had the willpower
Never seen the ville' up the hill or down the hill
My family need a mill they tellin me to chill
I got voices in my head they tellin me to kill
If that's how you feel then the fact is revealed
That you cats wasn't real clik clak wats da deal?
You give a man a good job he'll stay on that shit
But when the job get hard the coward go and quit
Ev'rybody show you love when they thinkin you rich
But you can see their true colors when the smoke get thick
You lookin for loyalty won't find it in a click
Before you find it in a nigga you'll find it in a bitch
That's why I'm bout to tie the knot I prophesize alot
Before I walk up in the crib I drive her round da block
I'm tired of excuses alot of them use it
That's why they be losin I find them confusin
Sour the movement ride just to use it
And high when it's movin you guys need improvement
I kno the rules I got wire on them fools
You just hide in the booth analyze all your moves
Since you lied on the crew and denied what was true
You no what I'm gon do
I'm gon ride on you
I was raised in da dirt and I drank for the thirst
Since the day of my birth when I lay by the nurse
For the game reimburse I got paid on the first
And I gave momma first put some change in her purse
And she gave me a smirk that's what made me convert
Put my brain in reverse but I'm on crazy alert
Sometimes I say it in a verse explain it with a curse
Cause it's pain and it hurts and my days gettin worse
Grip the gage in a burst but I hate it when it jerk
Bloodstain on my shirt throw some lame out a merk
I'm a stay put in work until I'm laid in a church
Drove away in a Herse then placed in the earth
Cause u kno I'm a ride out and you got the dry mouth
Cause you'z a dry snitch die bitch I'm a wild out
You playin hide n go seek when you hide in your hideout
But this is grown man shit and you can't call timeout

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show....html?t=400253
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show....html?t=400099

[Vallus]

You had a whole novel's worth of good concepts here
Your flow and structure were solid as well...

My fav part as about how if you give a coward a real job he'll run and hide
Real talk bruh....

You could have worded some of your lines better to make the flow smoother
but sometimes that comes at the cost of content...so I'll leave that for
you to decide upon on the lonesome...


I liked the your in your hideout part as well...like I said...alot of good concepts

Work on wording them better for a harder impact or more complex flow....


Lookin forward to more from you in the future....

You get the time for a collab....hit me up with a topic...I'll send you a verse



Stay up^

[Sänity]

I pretty much agree with what Vallus said, I liked this, I thought it was pretty good. Lots of concepts, flowed well and the multi's were nice.

I have been wanting to collab for a while so if you want just hit me up with a topic

BTW I am dropping a new piece soon, then I'm going back to the horrorcore seen for a while

[abandon666]

yo dolo good lookin n yea im down wit a collab just send me a verse of whatever and ill go with it peace