The Punchline King !

[CarmeloSwag]

U aint never heard a crook wit a flow like this
Is over..I can blow u kiss but i rather Blow them clips
N "squeeze" like I'm trynna "hold ma piss"
Torture perfect some that my heat do, wen i bust shells like seafood
And since im here..yall cant eat..nobody will sea food
But touch some of mine homeboy it be slaughter for you
I have the Hammer by/buy ya head Make that gun afford u
Them shits start "clappin" like they want applaud you
ha..once again is done..mah nigga why lie?
Nice try..drive by? i "drop bombs" some like a fly by
But im still pretty boy, hair got more "waves" then a bye bye
I fuck so much bitches..they say Melo use a hot mess
And i always "top the class" so u know my bitches "topless"
Thats yes..these hoes gon keep "lookin" like they "jobless"
Now u know, Plus this Whore knows n that whore knows
But this is just warnin/worn in like Indoor clothes

easyyy !

MeloSwag

[Steven William]

This was pretty wack overall. Flow needs a lot of work, and the vast majority of this is played as hell and has been done a million times. You listen to Wayne a lot I'm assuming, from the basic simile usage and delivery, there's no creativity behind any of this; the word play that you did use was wack and/or played as hell.

Just elevate, pretty much all I can say.

[Chrit.]

This was worse than shit.

[Vallus]

lmao @ you wanna blow kiss

I'm sure Styles and Sheek will be pissed.....

work on wording and grammer

and add punchlines....king

[CarmeloSwag]

yall haters son sons

[KID L]

not good at all try cyphers and then comeback to OM

[CarmeloSwag]

i think yall dnt get my lines...cuz my punchlines are off the chain like a freed slave

[Vallus]

whats with the slave shit....the prez is black

drop the race card shit

[Lyricst]

Hell yea man stop that racist ish.....but yea on another note man the drop was average man....and like dude said its been did many of times....and also like somebody else said u must listen to wayne alot to be sayin punclines like that man....be versatile wit ya shit homie not just straight punchlines.

[CarmeloSwag]

now i kno ya dnt kno shit.....cuz i said the off the chain as a punchline...a freed slave gets off his chains..thats y i said that. fuck would i pull a racecard..idk if yall white or black

[Well Versed]

well shyt carmeol...sry if ur punchez wasnt gettin thru...ive heard em all...more originallity wud be nice...idk what else to tell u bruh...

[Chef Boy]

You need to post 2 links to feedback you have given others.

To be honest, others covered it quite well. You have quite a bit of room to improve with your grammar. As far as your 'punchlines' go, they're pretty basic things that have been used before. I'm not trying to insult you, just give you feedback you can work with. Just keep writing man, practice makes perfect.

[Xistence]

shit dude this was extremely whack and you really need to work on your flow and delivery, i mean c'mon "you never herd a crook with a flow like this"??? the fuck is that it just makes you sound stupid as an opener and thats extremely easy to elevate on in a battle, not to mention blow you a kiss only makes it worse, you need a definitive better vocab with this and you really need to work on the structure and you're figurative language like really if your punchlines are off the chain like a freed slave?
i didn't see anything in this that made you off the chain really they seemed plain...
but no hate keep movin upand develope your skill....

[Cody Nash]

no links. closed.