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Thread: Mixing Drugs

  1. #1
    Newbie J Mo's Avatar
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    Cool Mixing Drugs

    This one is significantly different than my last post. I thought it would be fun to do a fast-paced topical piece... so here it goes:

    ------------------------------------

    Put a little bit of this in your sippy cup
    Swish around another hit, liquor, lick it up
    A trickle of hysteria, never get enough
    I'm sicker than a sickle cell, never get me up

    Wait a minute, let us settle back in this business
    Start with a little bit of grass, then I'll get some Guiness
    A fuckin party's what it is, tired's what it isn't
    We'll make ourselves a little bake sale in the kitchen

    Cut the cord from your throat, tickled, toakin smoke
    The dope is edging me to choke from open overdose
    And now there's brownie crumbles caked all up and down the rugs
    A little bit of chaos all because I'm mixing drugs

    Take it down, we ain't always gotta keep it wild
    Get some Marley on the mounted amps, music mild
    I need a minute, gotta finish all these drunkin dials
    I know that one might be immediately worthwhile

    Sit up, sip up this scripture...
    Sick of shit rips from sistas?...
    Zip up, you've pissed the game off
    So sit your sorry self down and silently savor

    This mainifesto I imagine you'll be impressed, you won't
    Amass to rap compatible with this demograpic
    I size 'em up before I slice it up, keep it candid
    Invoke my honesty, apologies for the damage


    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ds-399985.html
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...le-399923.html

  2. #2
    Newbie J Mo's Avatar
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    Re: Mixing Drugs

    Up for a little feedback!

  3. #3
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    Re: Mixing Drugs

    This wasnt bad, you stayed on topic well and the rhyming has a lot of potential. You have a half decent vocab and your bar's flow really well, if you picked a topic that wasnt really so played then your writtens could be really good.

  4. #4
    Newbie J Mo's Avatar
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    Re: Mixing Drugs

    Thanks, I appreciate the advice! I'll try to come up with something more original next time, but I'm glad you enjoyed the rhyme and rhythm/flow. They're my forte so I'll keep working on the content.

  5. #5
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    Re: Mixing Drugs

    i liked the flowand vocab this was apretty decent drop. not bad my dude

  6. #6

    Re: Mixing Drugs

    "Cut the cord from your throat, tickled, toakin smoke
    The dope is edging me to choke from open overdose
    And now there's brownie crumbles caked all up and down the rugs
    A little bit of chaos all because I'm mixing drugs"

    That stanza right there put things in perspective for me. The flow throughout the piece was definitely on point and made sense. The idea, although not new and fresh, still had an appeasing delivery and came across as polished and in great context.

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  7. #7
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    Re: Mixing Drugs

    1st off, I didnt get this line:

    "Sick of shit rips from sistas?..."

    But other than that I liked it. The flow was there and the piece held my attention the whole way through. It wasn't very complex but it was complex enough for the topic... basically all thats left for you to do is pick a better topic.

    Stay up


    RTF on this:

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...in-399974.html
    F.P.

  8. #8
    Newbie J Mo's Avatar
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    Re: Mixing Drugs

    Quote Originally Posted by nineties flava View Post
    1st off, I didnt get this line:

    "Sick of shit rips from sistas?..."
    That meant "Are you sick of women posting shitty lines?"

    Some people don't realize I'm a girl...


    Thanks for the feedback everyone!

  9. #9
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    Re: Mixing Drugs

    This was really good. You have a unique style that differs from most of the drops in Open Mic... Your writing skills are pretty obvious, no need for improvement. Alot of the people here try to be too deep, or too metaphorical, even too poetic. You came with good strong writing and were able to provide a great read. I wasn't left staring at my screen thinking... "what the fuck does that mean?" Nice work.

  10. #10

    Re: Mixing Drugs

    Nice job. It flowed well plus you did good with language. O btw nice to see someone else repping the Hoosier State.

  11. #11
    Newbie J Mo's Avatar
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    Re: Mixing Drugs

    Actually, my Nap Town is Annapolis

  12. #12

    Re: Mixing Drugs

    this was cool actually coming from a chick kinda interesting cause it's more of a male topic in terms of who's done it more, but you made it your own, the vocab was good flow was great the only thing you really need to work on is your figurative laguage and you'll be good but yeah you really hit this on point.... i guess there are still good female rappers out there after lady sovereign kinda killed it....

    rtf please
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...en-400283.html

  13. #13
    You've Earned a Custom Title! l^l Osiris l^l's Avatar
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    Re: Mixing Drugs

    the delivery was onpoint with the topical subject.. consistency i give a 5, wordplay a 3.. as for the originality it wasnt the most creative piece but never the less for a woman i think u have talent... duecez

  14. #14
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    Re: Mixing Drugs

    Nice job dued i love it like i said on my last post i love when i can just picture me in my head singing it

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