Fallen (Pt.1)

[ELEETE™]

Fallen (Pt. 1)
ELEETE™

Something has imprinted her mind, just look at her eyes...
She entered the hallway, with something deeply hidden inside...
The tears of surprise bleed a cold expressionless cry...
Her face can't deny the words that her beauty described...
But her sadness displayed, is like painting pain on a canvas...
The paintbrush engraves the color stains on the fabric...
I'm refraining from askin' about the situation or status...
Just from the looks of it I could see the madness was tragic...
What could've happened? She softly wipes her face with a tissue...
Suddenly the nurse expresses the urgency of the issue...
It makes me sick to; think what she will probably live through...
The nurse an doctor apologize, there isn’t more that they can do…
Then sudden screams flash scenes of foreseen troubles...
As both of her knees buckled, I turned to see her stumble…
Her world crumbled, soon to lie in miserable puddles of rubble…
The tears were everlasting, but her cries tumbled and struggled…
Feeling trapped in a bubble, not knowing what I can say or do…
Then it came to, I peered through the window an knew…
On the operating table I lay lifeless and unable to move…
I could finally construe the situation that was put into view…
I felt a sinking feeling, making me sick to my stomach…
What was this? Wishing to wake from a nightmare that wasn't …
This world I was stuck in; I could do nothing of it…
I was finally to pay for all the demons that'd come in…

But who was she?

[ELEETE™]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...1&postcount=25
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...1&postcount=11

[Esc0BosS]

wow...dope piece man, the flow was flawless, even tho this is tha typa shit thats more spoke out with emotion thatn rapped... oh and saying that, the emotion to this piece was displayed nicely with the way its worded, def unique and give it a cold 'fallen' feeling... great fucking job on that...

lyricly, at first nothin really stood out immediatley, but thats tha beauty of this, cuz i was almost overwhelmed by everything else; the story, the way it progresses, the mood, the flow... but in termz of the rhyming its actually on point, it could be upped, but personally its perfectly fitting for this piece... umm dunno what else to say...i was expecting some bullshit, and got this, almost exellence lol

stay up man, #1

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ng-382135.html RTF if u want, wouldnt be too bothered if you didnt, thanx for tha read

[ELEETE™]

Thanks man, I appreciate you...this my first post in about 3 years on RB so it means a lot...thanks...an I reply to all links so definately leave a link if you got a piece up...peace...

[ELEETE™]

Uppin...

[headfone]

its dope.. i believe everythings on point... i cant pick one or two favorite lines ... i would put the whole piece in here.... i wanna see part 2.. from what i've read in just 25 lines or so i can see that this site has missed an important meember and he goes by the name of eleete... keep posting i'll read it

[Esc0BosS]

upping this for duke...dont sleep

[Sting3r]

cool verse here, kinda wanted it to continue
flow was on point, just a good read here..

[Icy J]

As always, Mr. Eleete has amazing work...and yes im back on rapbattles baby!