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September 16th, 2018, 01:15 AM
#1
You've Earned a Custom Title!
Straight up
I'm warped
Bored out of my mind
A bow and error
in the wood of eternity
hunting cheer like bright
blazing deer in the night
Hazy seers just might
be caught in the rut
stagnation.
A walking Stargate
covered in hieroglyphs
Smoking spliffs
playing old fast punk riffs
from the heart; era everlasting
sentry of the soul
letting prophecy unfold
unfol unfo unf un u.
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September 18th, 2018, 10:12 PM
#2
You've Earned a Custom Title!
Re: Straight up
I feel like you’ve gotta be an alias.
Either way I didn’t really enjoy this.
Besides it not really connecting together in any way
The rhymes were pretty messy
Maybe I read it wrong, certainly possible
I’d like to see a more put together thought out piece in the future
Peace
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Omfg I’m an idiot my apologies I thought this was in the open mic
I realize this is a poem now lmao
Disregard everything I said
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December 20th, 2018, 10:33 AM
#3
Re: Straight up
This was pretty good, Martyring. You had one line that really stood out with this piece, 'a bow and error' in the 'wood of eternity; good contrast on recollection. 'Hunting deer' was another good line I recalled. Good work on this. Reminded me of a hazy cowboy piece, was quite nice. Hey, I'm a seer and i'm not lost in the stagnation. I suppose I know exactly what you're talking about, and I enjoy it? Good work, man. Was quite nice in it's way. Good poetic poem. Was enjoyable, piece. Good to see poets like this out the wood-work. Good work, nice. Keep writing, hope to read more.
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