My Best Friend

My heart stopped beating the other day
And for a second I realized I lost me again
It depends on the meaning but I cried so hard cause I lost my 7th best friend
No one was winning but my mental took a beating
But I wasn’t the one cheating
I don’t know when it happened other than when he would put me down
I starting believing him and nobody else ever stook around
When I realized it, I cried so hard my heart for a second just stopped beating
I dropped to my knees and realized for the 4th time now my soul was just bleeding
It was me he was mistreating
My peace, my comfort, my angel…
It all became so confusing
But I was losing me from every angle I was choosing and…
I lost myself again and I lost another best friend…
It happened before
He wouldnt stop calling me a whore
I’m a mother now and I can’t forget that ever again
My daughter might be watching and she need to know you demand nothing but respect
And you deserve an outburst every now and then
I even wanted to put down my pen
Cause God damn it happened again
I lost another best friend
And I thought maybe my pen was why the pain never end
My heart I would always protect
You mean nothing - check check
But I wanted to know what it was like to feel
And believed cause I did that it was something real
It’s not worth it and never again
Fuck losing a man, Im just mad cause I lost my 7th best friend
And believe me it will never depend on anything again but fake and pretend
As “i lay back and take off my shirt”
Scum mother fucker you don’t know what it’s like to grow in concrete not dirt

And it really is too late to apologize

- - - Updated - - -

AGAIN